3 miles and elliptical

Yesterday did five miles on the elliptical, time was 51:30. Today I did three miles outside, time was 36:12. I really just can't explain why I always do so much more poorly in actual races than I do in real life. I used to think I was just measuring my distance and time wrong, making errors, and so I never really was as fast as I thought I was. But now I have my garmin, and I know that is not the case.

I just think I don't like races that much. Too much waiting at the start line, too much nerves, too many people, too much pressure! Instead of rallying when I see the finish line and going a bit faster, I always just fall apart more and more. I really don't even know, at this point, if I care to do any races any more at all. I was definitely thinking yesterday that I am really not sure I am going to do any more half marathons at all. I just don't see the point in making myself so miserable. I am enjoying doing my shorter distances. I enjoy the treadmill, I enjoy the elliptical. I am hoping to get a bike for Christmas this year and start incorporating some biking into my fitness routine. But I'm just not certain I want to continue incorporating timed races into it. I just don't seem to like them much, and I don't do that well in them.

Anyways, stats for the week:

Miles running: 12.1

Miles Elliptical: 5

Miles Hiking: 6.3

Total miles moving my ass: 23.4