Saturday, August 31, 2013

But you
You're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
- Alannis Morisette, Uninvited

Today I had a play date with one of the little girls I mentor, and fortunately she likes going to my gym so I was able to kill two birds with one stone. I got in 1.5 miles on the treadmill before she got bored and we moved on to a game of Horse. It was fun teaching her how to play Horse, and I was reminded of how my sisters and I used to antagonize each other by shouting "you're a hor!" It was the only time I could call my sister a hor without getting in trouble, so it had to be taken advantage of. It makes me wonder why we never invented a game called Bitch.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Minimal Sleep and Mexican Food

All my rage
Sits inside
When even the finest things
Are leaving you hollow
-Better Than Ezra

Minimal Sleep and Mexican Food.  That's going to be the title of my long distance running self-help book.  It turns out that it is a crappy way to train.  Who knew?  Why am I on this regimen?  Well, last night we saw Better Than Ezra (and ate Mexican food at the restaurant next door to the show).  It was a good show, even though they don't seem to know what their best songs are.  You would think the band would know these things.  I was disappointed not to hear This Time of Year, At The Stars, Hollow, and Porcelain.  We did get a lot of other good stuff, including a very involved Hall & Oates joke, a bang-on ZZ Top impression, and some great BTE songs.  Good show - but I am the old man who wants shows to start earlier...

Anyway, with that preparation I ran 3 miles today.  Slooooooowly.  It was warm (obligatory heat check).  During my run, I was about to cross a residential street when a mail truck made a left turn right in front of me.  I saw him the whole time so it wasn't a big deal, but I did wonder why he had to cut me off.  Then I imagined Jack Bauer driving the mail truck and yelling "Federal Agent" at me as he took the corner.  Which is something postal employees should shout more often.  Then I wondered if Jack Bauer was a mail carrier which rules he would break in the name of the greater good.  Then I wondered if my brain was permanently damaged or if it was just temporary insanity causing me to think these crazy thoughts.  Jack Bauer is played by a Canadian - he wouldn't pass the background check at the PO.  None of this could happen.  Crazy.  At least these are secrets inside my head that no one else will ever know...

Anyway...Hollow is in.  It's OK that it isn't on the set list for this tour.  It's still cool with me.


I ain't the kind you take home to mama
I ain't the kind to wear no ring
Somehow I always get stronger
When I'm on my separate team
- Miranda Lambert

The storm clouds followed me into the gym. Turns out they were in my head. It was the kind of clouds that make it difficult to get off the couch much less leave the house, and I actually stood on the treadmill awhile before I found the gumption to start running. And some old dude came over and put on the weather channel. Seriously?? So the prospect I had in front of me was running to golf and the weather. Just shoot me already. But I did start, and I ran a slow steady 2.5 miles at 2% incline. And I do feel better now. Running is the one thing you can do that makes you feel better 100% of the time. Now I'm off to drink my dinner. Drinking sometimes helps too.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

The Dogs of February

Don't you love it when it doesn't
work out quite the way it was supposed to
Don't you hate it when it isn't
quite like the fairy tale that they told you
-Lowest of the Low

This song is called The Dogs of February, but I would suggest that in the highly unlikely event that the Low tours through this part of the world, that they change it to The Dogs of August.  August is just not pleasant here.  I carved my way through the August humidity today for 4 miles.  How did I know it was humid - 3 ways. 1) the rain that fell on part of my run,  2) the amount of sweat I carried in my clothes during the run, and 3) the lack of air in the air.  But I made it through. 

I think I was supposed to run farther today, but I haven't committed to a training schedule.  The schedule I like best includes only running 3 times per week, but it has a lot of long runs in it.  The one with the shorter runs is 4 times per week.  Funny how that works.  I'm sure it will all work out.  Nonetheless, the next race will be the rematch with the small (and fast) children in Galveston.  I'm sure they also have it circled on their calendars (or in the calendar app on their phones).

Tell me actions speak louder
But there's somethin about her words
That hurts
- Maroon 5/Lady Antebellum, Out of Goodbyes

I had a plan to get up early this morning and do the mountain again, but at 6 am it suddenly didn't seem like such a good idea. But it was still somewhat cool and overcast at 830 so I went for a run outside. It was not fun, not because of the weather but because it seems so much harder to run outside after treadmilling it all summer. Plus I haven't run since last Tuesday. So I did 3.5 but it wasn't pretty.

Thursday, August 22, 2013


Well maybe I'm a little bit slow, or just consistently inconsistent
She said, "Unpredictability's my responsibility, baby."
-Hot Hot Heat

3 more today.  I think that makes 342 for the year.  For a quick review of this summer, I ran 26.2 miles on June 2nd.  And then I've run about that much since then.  But no matter.  I have a good little routine going here the last few days and we will call that victory. 

I was going to try to make it through a post without mentioning how hot it is.  Can't do it.  It was really damn hot today.

Fantasy football draft tonight.  No idea what my strategy is.  I guess I will stay unpredictable (except I won't be taking Eli).

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


Hear me now and don't forget
I'm not the man my actions would suggest
-The Afghan Whigs

I prepared for my run tonight by eating too much at dinner and then falling asleep during my son's bedtime routine.  Coupled with the fact that I felt dehydrated before I started and I've been fighting off some sort off phlegm invasion, I was primed for a run.  3 miles of fun.

When I started my run tonight, I noticed that my shirt smelled.  Not like sweat.  Like a whole aerosol can of 1970s  hairspray had been emptied into it.  Also known as Tide "Fresh".  I thought, no matter, it will only make me run faster.  It didn't.  It only made the run much more unpleasant.  More on that later.

And by later I mean now.  I wanted to stall a little bit to give the squeamish readers a chance to turn away.  Because I made a major step towards becoming a real runner.  Yes, I started to feel bad during my run.  Yes, I did dry heave.  Twice.  No, I did not break my stride.  And I'm sure that I looked very debonair in my stinky shirt, running and heaving.  So why not.  Debonair by The Afghan Whigs is in.  Enjoy.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

The mountain was angry that day, my friends

Please don't resist anymore
I'll never leave you alone
- Maroon 5, Get Back In My Life

A miracle occurred this morning. I was up before 6am on a Sunday. BF had the awesome idea to get up early and run the mountain and I was excited at the prospect of an outside run. As it turned out, the mountain ran me. I started out ok running the first 3/4 mile but I was quickly exhausted. The sun was still behind the mountain but it was about 90 degrees, and it was about as tough a time I've had with the mountain as I can remember. But I marked down 4.5 ugly miles. Bf had an awesome run and I felt bad at how much time he spent waiting for me. Such is the nature of the mountain - sometimes she builds you up and sometimes she tears you down.

It's All The Same

And do it all over again
It's all the same
-Sick Puppies

But it isn't.  At first, I thought it was, but it isn't.  I woke up early (ish) to run before it got hot.  Ha.  But while it was not pleasant, it was not the same as running later in the day.  So at least there is that.  I ran 5 miles this morning and it wasn't awful.  This might be the start of some real training.

And the Sick Puppies are in.  Mellow, early in the playlist.  I have to admit, when I heard the name Sick Puppies, I expected them to sound a lot like Pantera.  They don't.

Friday, August 16, 2013


Dirty deeds, Thunderchief
-Incorrect ACDC lyric

And I knew
There was no help, no help from you...
You've been thunderstruck
-ACDC (different song)

On Monday I ran 1 mile and then lifted some weights.  On Tuesday I ran 2 miles.  This is the perfect way to train for long runs.  In two weeks, I'll be ready to run a half.  Except for not running since then.  But  I have a good excuse - on Thursday I was traveling and I had a layover in Chicago at Midway.  I learned 2 things there.  First, if you walk quickly, but keep your head tilted to the side so you are not looking where you are going - it is 100% the other person's responsibility to get out of your way.  I saw one guy doing this and thought he was a jackass.  And then I saw a bunch more people.  I don't know if it is a Chicago thing, or if maybe I've been doing this and so I haven't noticed the other people doing it. 

And then there is the other thing.  I understand that we all have a lot of calls to make.  Especially in an airport.  But the men's room is not the place to be on the phone.  The other person has to hear all the flushing and other noises.  It's just not a good idea.  People - you have to stop this.

My excuse for not running last week was that I went on a camping trip.  In Canada.  And I'm not a camper (or technically a Canadian).  So I learned the word thunderbox.  Another place where you shouldn't be on the phone.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Not meant to be

I got on the treadmill and wiped it down and fiddled with my music for a few minutes before pressing start, and it wouldn't start. So I hopped over to the next one and started it while I wiped it down, and accidentally cranked it up to 5 incline, so I cranked it back down and started running. I was tired and winded, but I didn't stop, mind you, I pushed through it for a mile. Then I had to hop off and go to the bathroom, and as I went to reduce it to 1% incline I saw that I had only been running at 1.5% instead of my normal 2. Dammit. So I hit the bathroom (I made the mistake of eating cherries this morning. So.) Then I got back on the treadmill and started running again and this time it was even worse in terms of fatigue, maybe because I had a great workout last night, who knows, but I walked after a bit and then ran again and then at 1.54 miles the treadmill. Just. Stopped. I pushed buttons furiously to get it going again but it was done. As was I. I almost gave up then, and just went home, but I talked myself into at least starting the nerd workout on the track. And, I finished the mile without further incident. So 2.5 for the day. Damn treadmill. How dare you try to show me mercy??