Monday, July 17, 2017

It got done

I'm not scared and I'm not lonely
Not saving all my money or my breath
Not looking for an answer
Or asking anyone to second guess
- indigo girls

Well dammit. I left for the gym without my inhaler and I didn't want to turn around because I was afraid I wouldn't leave again. And I slept like hell last night so I didn't get up this morning. Nevertheless, I persevered. I got two miles in on the treadmill and again I could only go a quarter mile without walking. My heart rate was only 115 the first time I walked and yesterday I maintained 150 to 160 for the whole mile. I don't know why I have to keep justifying myself. I think I'm afraid I'm just making excuses and being lazy, despite all evidence to the contrary. Anyway it got done and now I sit on the couch of righteousness watching the bachelorette. Tomorrow I get to go to Charleston, SC, which has been on my bucket list for a long time. I built in some extra time Thursday morning hoping I will have an opportunity to take a run around the city ❤️

Sunday, July 16, 2017

A beautiful day

Spring is almost over and the summers comin
The days are gettin long
Waited all winter for the time to be right just to take you along
Baby get ready
- nitty gritty dirt band, fishin in the dark

I ran a 12 min mile at 2% incline at the gym today, which doesn't sound like a big deal but given I haven't even been able to run a mile without walking in awhile, it's pretty awesome. And I felt like I could keep going except that I had to get to yoga. And that was a particularly difficult and business-like class I didn't car for. Thank you inhaler, it all got done and now I'm lounging by the gym pool breaking in my new bathing suit. I downloaded this goofy band after my brother talked about fishing in the dark over the 4th. This song just makes me grin.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Fighting on

You tattered me, you tethered me to you
But when the light grow dark
You were forever gone
But I remember you
You were full and sweet as honeydew
- Decemberists

Yesterday I had drinks with an old friend who knows me very well. I was lamenting g my asthma problem and how it doesn't make sense and isn't fair and how I'm supposed to use my rescue inhaler before running even though I'm on two other medications. He asked, simply, so are you going to fight it? And it's such a ridiculous question, but that has been, in fact, what I've been doing. Going on my piss poor runs, heaving and sweating, pissing and moaning. In fact he's the third person I've had this conversation with, but he addressed it in such a different matter-of-fact way that it really smacked me. Last Sunday I actually did try my inhaler before a treadmill run, and it was a decent run. I did 3.5 miles, in part because of the stroke of luck of having a dateline episode on the tv that I hadn't seen. But it was the best run I've had in a long time. And the week prior I did a good treadmill run in my hotel. So I guess I will accept this burden for what it is. After all, what's the point in fighting?

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Good news bad news

Good news I just hit the hotel gym. Bad news I only did a mile. Bad news I left my room key in there and couldn't get back in. Good news I'm going to dinner.