Tuesday, July 19, 2016

A beginning song

I am hopeful, should I be hopeful?
When all around me, all around me
It's the light, bright light, bright light
All around me
- The Decemberists

For the second day in a row I forced my ass to the gym and did three miles on the treadmill. They were generally awful ugly miles, and I wasn't able to hold the incline the way I used to, and they were sweaty and nasty, but they got done. As a wise person once told me I told her - "I know it sucks, now just go do it." I've been avoiding the work with all kinds of gyrations this summer and it's time I got over my f*cking whining and just got down to doing the work. And afterwards, I felt downright GOOD. I felt a light within for the first time in awhile. Maybe I'm leaving this difficult chapter in my life behind. Maybe new doors are opening. Maybe I'll travel, maybe I will fall in love. I'm surrounded by light.

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