I won't only love you when you're winning
Other fools pretend to understand
Come on take my hand, we'll go down swinging
- Matt Nathanson, Bill Murray
This song makes me weepy.
So something interesting tonight. I decided to try to focus more on meditation in yoga. So as we're warming up I'm focusing on my breathing and repeating my mantra "ohm nama shivaya" which means "I honor the divinity that resides inside me" (this I read in the infamous navel gazing book Eat Pray Love). So anyway about halfway in, after a difficult sequence, everyone was lying on their mats in child's pose and I was standing in the back drinking water. And I caught myself in the mirror across the room and gazed at my image standing, whilst everyone else was down. And as I watched, my image faded, and then disappeared. All that was left was a soft ball of light, and then that was gone too. And I was staring in the mirror but I wasn't there. I'm not kidding, this happened. So then I blinked my eyes hard and opened them and there I was again. I don't know what to make of this. Probably light headed from the exercise. But the room and other people didn't disappear. Just me.
Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water. And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and you have cried yourself to sleep enough times that you are down to your last two percent, but nothing is infinite, not even loss. You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day you are going to find yourself again.” - Finn Butler
ReplyDelete