Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Long

I went just over 5 miles. About 2 miles of it was against a 10 mph headwind, which really made it difficult. I walked probably the last mile and a half and didn't feel a bit bad about it. Take that, stupid voices! Now I am going to eat, stretch, shower, and make chili and cornbread.
I read Marianne's comment to my last post and thought about it a lot while I ran. But I can't remember anyone saying anything about how I am eating. The only voices are mine. But berating myself for my diet is no different than what Patty and Mom do when they ask me, after traveling 13.1 miles on the power of nothing more than my own two feet, if I ran the whole way. It's the same exact thing. The message is that what I'm doing isn't good enough, when it is. I don't accept that message from them, so why on earth would I accept that message from myself? It is the same self-defeating thinking I have struggled with my whole life. So thanks Marianne, I needed that. Damn the voices to hell - I don't need them.

1 comment:

  1. Bravo! And you are right, most of the time those voices aren't anything that is actually said by others. They develop in our own heads due to many clamoring voices within the culture with these "not good enough" messages and also more passive aggressive voices from our actual lives and people we know, such as Mom and Patty. They don't need to say you aren't good enough, their questions about how much you ran and how much you walked are sufficient.

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