the tide

I don't get waves of missing you anymore
they're more like tsunami tides in my eyes
- Ed Sheeran, U.N.I.

I had the best run I've had in awhile this morning. The temp was finally cooler, around 70 degrees, and I was feeling strong. I was thinking about how in order to be able to accept love from others, you really have to love yourself first. And you can't ever love someone enough if they don't have a love for self. I was talking the other night with a friend about the "luck" involved in lasting love. I don't think its fair to say that people who lave lasting love are "lucky," because surely they invest a lot of time and commitment into making things work. I think the luck might come in choosing someone that you can grow and change with. The 25 year old me picked someone that wasn't compatible with the person I had grown into by 35. We're always growing and changing - if not, we're dying. My 25 year old self would not recognize or even like the person I've grown into today. When I got married, I had no idea of the skeletons that existed in my psyche. But after a lot of heartache, I dug them up and gave them a proper burial, and am an entirely different and healthier person today. So how do you choose someone for forever? I think you have to be flexible and respect yourself and the other person enough to allow for growth and change, and beyond that it really is a crapshoot. How do you know that the person you become will still like the person they become, and vice versa? Who knows. I don't know why I think about this stuff but lately it dominates my running mind.