Well It's A Donkey At Any Rate

These are my 2016 things. I don't call them resolutions, resolutions are for schmucks. I agreed to start in with this cursed and boring blog again because it apparently motivates my sister, horrified my father and it sometimes amuses me. So. 

I do reserve the right to talk about all this shit, not just the boring running. Not that it's all not boring as hell, I'm just saying you might also get adventures in bread making and my deep and highly intellectual thoughts on Virginia Woolf.  Our first dance class is on Monday, we are doing the "Ballroom Sampler", so there's that to look forward to as well. 

I did run today, a good four miles, but it is January 2nd, so I first had to fight in a cage match to get a treadmill TO WHIT, I bring you my "Tips for Gym Newbies" also known as "stop pissing me off and go away until next year you stupid motherfuckers". 

1. Wear deodorant, for the love of God. The gym is not a deodorant free zone (AND QUIT LIFTING YOUR ARM YOU MOTHERFUCKER ON THE TREADMILL TO MY LEFT). 

2. Shut up. And by shut up I mean, SHUT THE FUCK UP. I don't care about your buddy system theory that will maybe get both your sorry asses to the gym more often this year, you pony-tailed pieces of shit on the treadmills to my right. This is not the place for your goddamn quilting bee, or a discussion of your latest detox plan. You distract others who are doing more than walking on the goddamn treadmill, and if I can hear you over the blasting of my obscene music, then you are talking too loud. SHUT UP. 

3.  Don't ask me how to use the equipment. That is what all these staff people who work here are for, except when they are too busy signing up more people like you, who we all put up with until you go away in a few weeks, knowing, as we do, that you subsidize our cheap memberships the rest of the year. Don't expect me to be nice to you for it, though. 

4. You might hear some feel good stuff around this time of year about how the regulars really aren't paying attention to you, and you should just feel confident and get to the gym, and don't worry that the regulars are being annoyed by your lack of deodorant and basic gym etiquette. This isn't true, and you shouldn't believe it for one second. You annoy the fuck out of everyone. 

5.  That being said, if you keep at it, next year you can be the one who is annoyed, rather than the one doing the annoying. Good luck. 

MOTHERFUCKER

I'LL BE BACK FROM THE DEAD SOON
I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon
Oh my god I think I might've made a mistake
Waiting patiently was waiting taking up space.
- AWOLNATION, Hollow Moon

That's right motherfuckers, we're back!!! 1000k challenge here in 2016 and it's gonna be a bad bitch. Ima make a deal with the bad wolf so the bad wolf don't bite no more. I'm gonna blow up 2016 indiscriminately. Waiting patiently just takes up space. Ima take this bull by the horns. Yesterday I kicked off this bad bitch with a 4.5 mile trail run/walk, mostly walk given the nasty chest cold that's been plaguing me. But it's on. Like donkey kong.

Secrets

"It's something like a shared secret, this love they have, as if nobody else was in on some breathtaking elaborate joke. Which is the best way I can describe true love. A secret joke two people share, a knowledge that somewhere in this very very hard world there can be true comfort, warmth, belonging, friendship — a gentle sharing of burdens, secrets and sweat — that no one else could imagine except the person under the covers with you listening to the stereo."

- Mikel Jollett, The Airborne Toxic Event

I read this quote last night and kept coming back to it during my run this morning (which was sweaty and slow and frequently interrupted by dog potty breaks). Beautiful and eloquent. I think this describes love as I've best experienced it.

Something you lost

You dare never say, the greatest secret you keep

Is that you might be alone, that you might have to run,

That the rest of your life will be a series of nights

That you spend in your mind

Staring backwards through time

At something you lost.

 - Airborne Toxic Event 

The good thing about running is that it prevents tears. Or at least stops them from flowing. Have you tried it?  It is impossible to cry and run. Like sneezing with your eyes open. I ran tonight for the first time in weeks. A slow plodding and even somewhat relaxing run if that's possible. Exhaling out the sad. Breathing in the freshness of possibility. 

The mountain was angry today my friends

Lord have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways.
- The Head and the Heart

So today I turned my ankle pretty hard running down the mountain. Miraculously I didn't fall, but it was excruciatingly painful and I had to sit down and wait fir the pain to subside before I hobbled my way down the mountain entertaining fantasies of someone carrying me down. So I had a long time to contemplate why I continue to have this problem. Admittedly the mountain is steep in places and there are tons of loose rocks and boulders along the trail so it is somewhat hazardous anyway. But I think there's an issue with my gait, as evidenced in this photo. This is several years ago during a sprint triathlon with my gym. See how my toes turn in? And the foot I'm landing on is clearly sideways and this is the one I always turn. I think it stems from being pigeon-toes as a child, which was likely the result of all of the beatings I took as a child. I think that's what happens when you spend so much time in fetal position. I'm not saying it's my parents' fault, but the facts do speak for themselves. Anyway, I think it might be time for me to give up running the trail as I'm convinced there is a serious injury in my future. I haven't admitted this to anyone but a couple months ago I turned this ankle just running down the street. So.

2 improbable days of running

Mom said son I know it's in your blood but boy, please don't run.
- The Head and the Heart

This is a lovely tunnel I ran through this morning on my 3 mile route. I actually went running after the gluttony of the easter picnic - 2 miles in 22 min. And then I went at halftime on Monday, again only two. And last night I did a yoga class that kicked my arse. I was contemplating on my run this morning that my piriformass issue has gotten much better, I think from the combination of running less, yoga and taking it easy.

Easter

This seems a bit of a foreboding omen for Easter. Yet this is what I came across in my run this morning. A perfectly blue egg cracked and leaking its life essence, providing food for ants. The circle of life I suppose. It was beautiful out today if a little warm and very pollen-y. My run was difficult, but this year has been difficult. I did 3 on Thurs and felt good though. And yoga Monday. Happy Easter all.

That's a fine looking high horse

So tonight after my meetings I went for a jog on the dreadmill for 2 miles in order to earn my dinner. I'm not too fancy for a 2 mile run, or for truffle Mac and cheese at dinner. Cause goddammit I earned it. And I heard a story from one of my fav work peeps who grew up with a coveted older brother. And when she went to college at the same place as he, he asked her to do his laundry, which she did without complaint because that's how she was raised. She only got upset when she asked him for the quarters to do his laundry and he refused, so she paid for the washing privileges as well. And he was at school for an entire year before her and somehow managed to have clean (or dirty) clothes to wear. And the dude at dinner with us didn't understand why this story made me so angry. It was her choice to do his laundry after all. So here's to all the men in the world on their high horses who deserve their male privilege and will never quite understand the God-given sacrifice and privilege of being a woman.

DC

It's gonna be hot as hell here soon we're gonna need some relief
Im sick of leaving things half done, leaving things half said
Oh I am I am trying the best that I can will you keep moving on like you do?
- Vance Joy

This week finds me in Washington DC. In the middle of a lot of history and a lot of politics - work and nation. I was inspired to go run around the John F Kennedy island. I love exploring remote places. There were a few bricks left from this 1800s mansion and I picked one up and ran with it for awhile, coveting this image of it in my rock garden. But I let it go. It was 3.5 miles of good exploration, inspiration and exercise though.

Find a thing that you love
Find a thing you understand

Unicycle convention

That happened at the mountain today. Seriously. So that was enough inspiration to post. I wish I had seen them in the trail. My exercise has been largely uninspired so far this year. I've been doing some yoga and some running and some hiking, but none very frequently.