I'm feeling hopeless

I stand here imperfect right before you
Been searching so long for a way to get through
Swallowed the universe, abandoned my youth
I still can't forsake what I feel is true
I was made out of dust by a voice in the wind
To conquer my fears and rise like a king
I will always evolve and never give in
I will follow my dreams cause I know I will win
- New Politics, Overcome

It's official. I'm depressed. I may have said this before. I cried today whilst talking to my blista sista. I don't know why I'm surprised by this but I am. It's a transition. Ks presence was a tornado in the house, and while I've enjoyed the new calm to an extent, I find that I am living in a vacuum. A giant hole. And honestly I'm afraid of living alone for the rest of my life. I've wasted so much time with the wrong people. And where are the right ones? Every time I think I've learned, there are more lessons in front of me. I'm trying to embrace the lessons life has to offer. But I'm still lonely. I got out and did my 3.5 today, so running has been going well. Except that I didn't suck on my inhaler before I went so I was gasping for air and walked a lot. My lungs sounded like the wind whistling outside the window during a winter storm. But anyway. This is where I am today. It's an ok place. It's where I need to be for now I guess.