Recruiting

There’s a bunker of regret that you’re defending
And there’s a trench in my soldier’s heart
Not only can I not imagine this ending, I can’t remember when it started
-Ron Hawkins

8 treadmill miles.  Over the past two days.  Today, I walked at incline 2.75 miles.  It was boring.  But yesterday was fascinating.  I ran 5.25 on the treadmill.  And as I predicted, my Navy Fit Test from a couple of weeks did not go unnoticed.  After I started running, an undercover representative from the Amish Army showed up.  How did I know he was undercover?   He didn't look Amish at all.  Clever.  How did I know he was from the Amish Army?  He was wearing a sweatshirt that said ARMY and sweatpants that said ARMY.  Could not have been more obvious.  Especially when he walked behind me to check out what I was doing on the treadmill.  Or to get a towel. 

Then, in comes a guy wearing a workout outfit - matching shirt and shorts.  He starts doing the most ridiculous series of stretches, including lifting one leg at a time over the handlebars of the stationary bike.  This isn't something anyone should do.  Anyway, he reminded me of Woody Harrleson's character in White Men Can't Jump.  I was pretty sure that the hustle was on - maybe he was going to fall of the treadmill and then challenge me to a running contest - with a bet to make it interesting.  But luckily, there were only two treadmills in the joint, and neither me nor the above-mentioned recruiter were leaving.

Until a guy comes in who proceeds to tell me his life story and how he is signing up for the Army tomorrow.  And that he lost 90 pounds in the last year.  And that he is the third fastest runner in the state.  And after his four years he is going to get married and then re-enlist.  Wait - how did you determine you were the third fastest runner in the state?  Nevermind - I didn't ask.  I didn't even get a word in edgewise.  It was odd.  The whole gym emptied in about 5 minutes.