I'm in the club and I'm gonna do do do do
Just what the f*ck I came here to do do do do
But
I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
- taio cruz, dynamite

So I'm on the treadmill this morning minding my own bidness when here comes this gym bunny and there's a dozen treadmills open but she gets on the one next to me. She's wearing this spaghetti strap sports bra with these giant fake boobies hanging out the top, and a short running skirt with layers of flounce that bounce when she runs. No shirt. So I am immediately uncomfortable and think about switching treadmills because I feel like I'm caught in the glare of the spotlight she's aiming for, but I continue my sweaty slog jog. Then, she turns the incline way up and starts walking backwards so we are kind of facing each other. Ugh. I keep my eyes trained on the TVs though they are constantly distracted by the bouncing of boobies and flouncing of skirt. Somebody just shoot me please. THEN she starts doing this side facing walk where she crosses leg over leg with her arm draped over the front of the treadmill, and then sashays into a samba-type movement and she's facing me directly. Seriously, am I being punk'd?? I look around for the cameras. Sadly no. I escape to the track to finish my run. 3 miles.