Fake Press Conferences and the .1 mile people

As my intermittent training sputters on in pursuit of a half ass performance in the half marathon this Sunday in the Valley of the Sun, my mind is already wandering to my kick ass mental mind boosters. Everytime I run a race, I do dedicate each mile to someone important in my life. This is usually pretty effective, heartwarming, soup for the soul while staving off the inevitable proverbial lava creep of pain created by long runs. For a while anyway, this is effective. Sadly for the underprepared like me, those hopeful, sentimental mental journeys eventually come to a fiery death in the deserted stretches of the "race." Yes I just added quoted myself, a new low, but I digress. Instead, I have to resort to other well thought out strategies to get me through.

One of the things I implemented with modest success is holding fake press conferences in my mind. Rather than get taken aback by the always annnoying press up in my face wanting to get to the bottom of the mysteries of my athletic prowess, I prepare early. One of my life terrors is being typecast as just a speed demon. To combat that stamp, I relentlessly craft some quick witted responses to the fake press in my mind. I figure that a cloak of wit might hopefully deflect overattention from both my adorous fans and my odorous smell. So if asked, why are you crying upon finishing such an incredible, inspiring run? I can say, its just the bugs that hit my eyeballs all race long during my lightening stretches when I jump straight to turbo mode simply as a crowd pleaser. I like to consider myself kind of an eagle scout of fake press conferences.

But then I get to the final .1 mile. By then, the press has just left to go scramble and meet the demands of the fake people who can't also get enough of my 3.2 points per game high school basketball scoring avalanche, and I return to those that are real and that mean so much to me in my life. It's those women in my life who's spirits flood back to me to run that last .1 mile with me and and IPOD Eminem. I am forever grateful for these beautiful women of all ages in my life today. They deserve the .1 mile. Usually.

P.S. yeah, so GO USA (maybe except Niagara Falls, our side kinda sucks)