"She had no heart so hardened." - Decemberists
- Sandy
Thursday, August 24, 2017
To dad
"She had no heart so hardened." - Decemberists
- Sandy
Friday, August 11, 2017
FOR THE RECORD
I did run on Monday before work, 2.5 mi. I did not manage the early rising again until today when I didn't have to get up until 7. So I did another 2.5. AND NOW I AM HEADED TO THE MOST AWESOME INAUGURAL TRAVELERS REST MUSIC FESTIVUS IN MONTANA!!!!! Woot woot!!! I may or may not exercise depending on my state of euphoria, drunkenness, hungoverness, or general sloth.
"You rise to me and I'll blow you down."
The Decemberists
"You rise to me and I'll blow you down."
The Decemberists
Monday, July 17, 2017
It got done
I'm not scared and I'm not lonely
Not saving all my money or my breath
Not looking for an answer
Or asking anyone to second guess
- indigo girls
Well dammit. I left for the gym without my inhaler and I didn't want to turn around because I was afraid I wouldn't leave again. And I slept like hell last night so I didn't get up this morning. Nevertheless, I persevered. I got two miles in on the treadmill and again I could only go a quarter mile without walking. My heart rate was only 115 the first time I walked and yesterday I maintained 150 to 160 for the whole mile. I don't know why I have to keep justifying myself. I think I'm afraid I'm just making excuses and being lazy, despite all evidence to the contrary. Anyway it got done and now I sit on the couch of righteousness watching the bachelorette. Tomorrow I get to go to Charleston, SC, which has been on my bucket list for a long time. I built in some extra time Thursday morning hoping I will have an opportunity to take a run around the city ❤️
Not saving all my money or my breath
Not looking for an answer
Or asking anyone to second guess
- indigo girls
Well dammit. I left for the gym without my inhaler and I didn't want to turn around because I was afraid I wouldn't leave again. And I slept like hell last night so I didn't get up this morning. Nevertheless, I persevered. I got two miles in on the treadmill and again I could only go a quarter mile without walking. My heart rate was only 115 the first time I walked and yesterday I maintained 150 to 160 for the whole mile. I don't know why I have to keep justifying myself. I think I'm afraid I'm just making excuses and being lazy, despite all evidence to the contrary. Anyway it got done and now I sit on the couch of righteousness watching the bachelorette. Tomorrow I get to go to Charleston, SC, which has been on my bucket list for a long time. I built in some extra time Thursday morning hoping I will have an opportunity to take a run around the city ❤️
Sunday, July 16, 2017
A beautiful day
Spring is almost over and the summers comin
The days are gettin long
Waited all winter for the time to be right just to take you along
Baby get ready
- nitty gritty dirt band, fishin in the dark
I ran a 12 min mile at 2% incline at the gym today, which doesn't sound like a big deal but given I haven't even been able to run a mile without walking in awhile, it's pretty awesome. And I felt like I could keep going except that I had to get to yoga. And that was a particularly difficult and business-like class I didn't car for. Thank you inhaler, it all got done and now I'm lounging by the gym pool breaking in my new bathing suit. I downloaded this goofy band after my brother talked about fishing in the dark over the 4th. This song just makes me grin.
The days are gettin long
Waited all winter for the time to be right just to take you along
Baby get ready
- nitty gritty dirt band, fishin in the dark
I ran a 12 min mile at 2% incline at the gym today, which doesn't sound like a big deal but given I haven't even been able to run a mile without walking in awhile, it's pretty awesome. And I felt like I could keep going except that I had to get to yoga. And that was a particularly difficult and business-like class I didn't car for. Thank you inhaler, it all got done and now I'm lounging by the gym pool breaking in my new bathing suit. I downloaded this goofy band after my brother talked about fishing in the dark over the 4th. This song just makes me grin.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Fighting on
You tattered me, you tethered me to you
But when the light grow dark
You were forever gone
But I remember you
You were full and sweet as honeydew
- Decemberists
Yesterday I had drinks with an old friend who knows me very well. I was lamenting g my asthma problem and how it doesn't make sense and isn't fair and how I'm supposed to use my rescue inhaler before running even though I'm on two other medications. He asked, simply, so are you going to fight it? And it's such a ridiculous question, but that has been, in fact, what I've been doing. Going on my piss poor runs, heaving and sweating, pissing and moaning. In fact he's the third person I've had this conversation with, but he addressed it in such a different matter-of-fact way that it really smacked me. Last Sunday I actually did try my inhaler before a treadmill run, and it was a decent run. I did 3.5 miles, in part because of the stroke of luck of having a dateline episode on the tv that I hadn't seen. But it was the best run I've had in a long time. And the week prior I did a good treadmill run in my hotel. So I guess I will accept this burden for what it is. After all, what's the point in fighting?
But when the light grow dark
You were forever gone
But I remember you
You were full and sweet as honeydew
- Decemberists
Yesterday I had drinks with an old friend who knows me very well. I was lamenting g my asthma problem and how it doesn't make sense and isn't fair and how I'm supposed to use my rescue inhaler before running even though I'm on two other medications. He asked, simply, so are you going to fight it? And it's such a ridiculous question, but that has been, in fact, what I've been doing. Going on my piss poor runs, heaving and sweating, pissing and moaning. In fact he's the third person I've had this conversation with, but he addressed it in such a different matter-of-fact way that it really smacked me. Last Sunday I actually did try my inhaler before a treadmill run, and it was a decent run. I did 3.5 miles, in part because of the stroke of luck of having a dateline episode on the tv that I hadn't seen. But it was the best run I've had in a long time. And the week prior I did a good treadmill run in my hotel. So I guess I will accept this burden for what it is. After all, what's the point in fighting?
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Good news bad news
Good news I just hit the hotel gym. Bad news I only did a mile. Bad news I left my room key in there and couldn't get back in. Good news I'm going to dinner.
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Fear
Today I did in fact face my laziness and get up for a sweaty run before work. It was 87 degrees when I set out and 89 by the time I got home. I listened to This American Life about a guy who made a list of all his fears. So as I ran I thought about my fears, and as I took walk breaks I wrote them down. And here they are in the order they came to me.
Rejection
Vulnerability
Gaining weight
Scorpions
Violent dogs
That I will grow old alone
That I will never find love
A home intruder at night
Rape
That my kids will come to harm
That they will make bad choices
That they will be emotionally hurt by thoughtless lovers
That J will fall to addiction
That his gf will get pregnant
That I will lose my parents
That my sister will die and/or kill someone
That my brother will die
Falling
Failure
Rejection
Vulnerability
Gaining weight
Scorpions
Violent dogs
That I will grow old alone
That I will never find love
A home intruder at night
Rape
That my kids will come to harm
That they will make bad choices
That they will be emotionally hurt by thoughtless lovers
That J will fall to addiction
That his gf will get pregnant
That I will lose my parents
That my sister will die and/or kill someone
That my brother will die
Falling
Failure
Monday, June 19, 2017
Done
So this morning for the first time in six Mondays I failed to get up and run before work. It was after 9 when I got home from an exhausting weekend of drinking and napping and even though I was asleep by 10:30 I was just so tired this morning. So I went to the gym after work and ran a mile and then did yoga. So I did earn the couch of righteousness from which I am watching g the Bachelorette and wishing someone would bring me ice cream.
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Bloggity
This was not a bad week. It was all on the elliptical, however. I just am not running right now, my body doesn't like it. I've been trying to walk quite a bit, but my workouts have been at the gym on the elliptical. I've also started incorporating my abs work again and I plan to also start lifting, but just upper body at first. I like the gym, and this Spring's allergy season has been kicking my ass so severely that it makes it hard to exercise outside, plus as annoying as it will sound to my AZ peeps, it has been hot as a motherfucker here, so if I want to go outside I have to do it really early which, along with my fab sister, just isn't my strong suit. I get up early, but the last thing I care to do is get going right away running.
Anyway, I'll try to get to the blog more often too. I'm just full of failures! I've also gained some weight that I'm none too pleased with!
Saturday, June 17, 2017
Down by the lake
This much I can say
I would've waited til the oceans fell away and all the sunken cities would reveal themselves to you
But you won't, will you?
Because you never do
- The Decemberists, Lake Song
Such a beautiful song, and funny. They curse the neighbors ill-intended children from the lawn. And big words like sybiline and prevaricate. I went for a run by the lake this morning a run/walk shall I say. It was kinda warm, but not close to what it is at home this weekend. So four runs this week. I only got up before work twice. I fully intended to try 5:30 am yoga but I realized it is not within my skillset.
I would've waited til the oceans fell away and all the sunken cities would reveal themselves to you
But you won't, will you?
Because you never do
- The Decemberists, Lake Song
Such a beautiful song, and funny. They curse the neighbors ill-intended children from the lawn. And big words like sybiline and prevaricate. I went for a run by the lake this morning a run/walk shall I say. It was kinda warm, but not close to what it is at home this weekend. So four runs this week. I only got up before work twice. I fully intended to try 5:30 am yoga but I realized it is not within my skillset.
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