Fear

Today I did in fact face my laziness and get up for a sweaty run before work. It was 87 degrees when I set out and 89 by the time I got home. I listened to This American Life about a guy who made a list of all his fears. So as I ran I thought about my fears, and as I took walk breaks I wrote them down. And here they are in the order they came to me.

Rejection
Vulnerability
Gaining weight
Scorpions
Violent dogs
That I will grow old alone
That I will never find love
A home intruder at night
Rape
That my kids will come to harm
That they will make bad choices
That they will be emotionally hurt by thoughtless lovers
That J will fall to addiction
That his gf will get pregnant
That I will lose my parents
That my sister will die and/or kill someone
That my brother will die
Falling
Failure