Stark Choices

Well now the ocean speaks and spits and I can hear it from the interstate
And I'm screaming at my sister on a cell phone she is far away
And I'm saying nothing in the past or future ever will feel like today
Until we're parking in an alley
Just hoping that our shit is safe

      - Bright Eyes (with pronoun liberties)

A song I never get tired of listening to or quoting. 

The choice today was stark, people. Chris and I made the brilliant decision yesterday to spend an hour or so working out hard at the gym, and then went to the grocery store ravenously hungry. Where we proceeded to buy, among other assorted shit, a bag of chocolate chips, so I could make cookies. 

Today we ended up with about 14 inches of snow, and my plan was to just stay home and bake cookies and read. But then morning turned into afternoon and all I wanted to do really was go to the damn gym (Chris went snow shoeing for three miles and then shoveled all the snow, he wasn't interested). So I could either make the cookies or struggle through the snow to the gym. Both things were for sure not getting done. 

I did the gym. Getting there wasn't as bad as all that. I did three miles and then 60 floors on that stair thing. 

Anyway, in stupid news, I joined weight watchers. So. Stupid. I have literally done nothing but make fun of Oprah for going in on this absurd diet. 

But people. I need some help. Not with weight loss, I like my weight fine. (Okay so sue me, I wouldn't MIND losing a few more, whatever shut up.) I need help with my diet. 

I work out a lot (as you may have noticed)    And all that working out allows me to fit in a shocking amount of sugar into my diet without gaining weight, and since I'm perfectly happy with my weight, there hasn't been anything stopping me. 

But six months ago, my a1c was up a LOT and I was put on metformin and while not officially diagnosed with diabetes, I may as well be. 

So at first I was just pissed off (my first reaction to any given situation, as those who know me will attest). So I spent some time yelling at nurses and dietitians. The I went on the medication and have since went through a period of supreme indifference. 

At no point has my diet changed and I still consume way more sugar than someone with my issue should (which is none, just by the way). 

Anyhoodle... So I have some friends doing weight watchers and I thought maybe if I had some structure to my diet? And I think counting calories is a bad idea for me at this point, I need to actually differentiate between foods and calories, because my focus has to be on avoiding the goddamn sugar which is the bane of my existence (also my greatest friend, best comfort, celebration, and all around good time). 

Anyway.... I'm sorry Oprah. I won't make fun of it anymore.