I think I'll be alone until I die
Lay here on my back and watch the sky
The stars look awfully nice out but I'm cold
I guess I should have taken her advice
- THATH

What a gorgeous morning out and Lordy I love this band. If all goes well I will see them five times this year which is certainly a record of some sort. I'm on a little high this morning. It is a beautiful thing when kids make decisions you know are right for them but you allow them the freedom to to carve their own path and they arrive at the same place as you.

She thinks you love the beach
You're such a damn liar
- Lorde, Green Light

I love this song. So dark. I had a godawful attempt at a run this morning but yesterday went fairly well. It's been tough getting up this week, maybe due to my mini bday vacay.

If I ever get around to living

It's gonna be just like I dreamed
I'm gonna take the love I'm given
And set it free
- John Mayer

I woke up this morning joyously back to feeling well. Until I went running and I thought my lungs would explode. But it's a beautiful morning out and I'm enjoying iced tea on the patio at AJs. I'm taking a long weekend to celebrate the anniversary of my birth and new beginnings.

Proud of me

It takes 30 days to form a habit, so they say. This is my fourth consecutive week of getting up at 6am to run. Granted I only got Mon and Tues last week due to a Tuesday night celebration that threw off the rest of the week (though I did go on Friday). This week I also got Mon and Tues and am now couch-ridden with the most horrific sinus cold that will most likely have me laid out tomorrow as well.

The jake factor

Cause when you're done with this world
You know the rest is up to you
- John Mayer, Walt Grace's Submarine Test

This is one of the more obscure John Mayer songs and one of my favorites. This old dude needs a change and adventure so he builds a one man fan blade powered submarine and sails to Japan and all his friends are amazed and they name their bar after him. It's kinda where I am in life. Major changes on the horizon that make me tremble if I think too deeply on them. But I may well be off on a new adventure of my own. A change of life, a change of scenery, a changing of the seasons. So this the third week of my 6am adventures, I got a bit of a late start as getting out of bed proved challenging. So I was a few minutes behind and ran most of the last mile just because I wanted to get home before he left. Seeing his little smile as he's off to his day just brightens my morning. I miss him already.

For the record

Today I did a lot. I woke up at 6 and did a fairly less miserable 3.5 miles around the hood and then I joined a friend for a 4.5 mile hike this evening. Damn busy day and I'm tired. I even did a little work in between. But just a little.

Desert blooms

I didn't have to exercise today but I went because I wanted to. A novel concept, that. I did 3 yesterday to get my 5 days in last week. I went once in Atlanta and that wasn't great either but I went. Today it was beautiful outside even after my nap so I went to the mountain. I ran some of it but not much. The desert is in bloom and I truly did stop often to admire the flowers. I love the flowers that the saguaros get but it's still a couple weeks early for that. I had an awful dream during my nap that I had reached out to my ex bf and he rejected me and I was so angry at myself for doing that, so I was contemplating that on the mountain. My instinct is to be frustrated with myself for still thinking on these things, but I didn't spend much time there. I am where I am, and frankly I'm quite happy with life. After my hike I went to AJs and drank iced tea on the patio while finishing my podcast. It's a beautiful evening.

My week isn't starting off well

I'm trying to get back into my Sunday Stair Climb routine, now that the weather is nicer. But today did not go well. I did 600 stairs and was on my third lap down the mountain when this disaster struck. I had gone two miles at that point and decided to call it good. I was struggling anyway and not sure I was going to be able to finish my planned 1000 stairs and 3 miles anyway. I need to work up to where I was, I suppose. Plus, it was windy and pretty goddamn miserable despite not being extremely cold. Next time I'll wear long pants. Maybe I'll just make long pants a rule whenever I run trails, since this isn't exactly the first time I've experienced this, as our two or three regular readers must know. In fact, now that I think on it, I've done this on regular streets as well although only once that I can remember, so I should probably just wear pants outside no matter what, and save the damn capris for gym days only. For Christ sake, what a klutz I am. 

Next Sunday I'll make my goal 800 stairs. Anyway, I'm including a pic of after I got cleaned up so you can see it isn't as bad as it initially looked, and nobody saw, so nothing lost except a layer of skin or two and luckily that grows back pretty efficiently. 

Shine

"When you're in a relationship with someone who's selfish, what keeps you in it is the fact that when they shine on you, it's like this souped up shine. And you feel like you're in the club and you don't even know what the club is, you just know you want to stay in it."
- Do Listen Twice podcast

This quote hit me like a punch in the gut this morning. It resonates. Run done this morning and super proud to say it's my second week of getting up at 6 and it feels good. The runs haven't been good, but I'm focused on the victory that is running at 6:25am. I'm ok letting my body adjust. Yesterday I was also up at 6 for a 5k in a vineyard which turned out to be a godawful slog through dusty trails and then a wine tasting for those who enjoy wine at 9am. Which remarkably isn't me.

Like It's Nothin'

He's the fire and the sin

And I burn breathin' him in 

Now this love is suicide

And I sell my soul for the high 

           - Bryce Fox (with pronoun liberties)

Love this song. Kind of obsessed with it, in fact. This was my week, and it was damn good. I think those are all running miles, but I can't remember about last Sunday, maybe I did the elliptical that day. Anyway the weather is warming and it's time for some runnin' and some stair climbin'!!

I got some serious new kicks that I'm hoping will alleviate this damn foot pain that periodically plagues me, I'm back in the Brooks Ariel, after having to forgo them for a couple of years when they re-designed them and I couldn't fit into them anymore. I guess they fixed them because these feel good. But those Saucony Hurricanes have never been as supportive as they once were, despite all kinds of re-designs, and I'm wondering if they just weren't supportive enough of my big wide boat feet. 

Anyway I'm off to test them out.