I Spend My Money On The Regular Miracles

Here come the jets hide my money in your tube socks
Run like me, like hell, like everybody else

                          -New Politics

On Monday I decided to use my new office's gym for the first time. I had gotten access just recently and honestly, it's a nice gym! And going to the gym during work hours like that is a nice tricky way to get your workout in, while making everyone still think you are working the full day. Nobody ever questions someone who uses their "lunch break" to go to the gym, even if that same person then sits at her computer for another hour, catching up on Twitter and actually eating lunch. And that way I am home to make dinner and spend what time two teenagers have to give me.

I don't know if anyone who reads this has experience with office gyms, but I do and I can tell you they are very often empty or close to empty. I think they get enough use, but it's not like your other gyms. At my last office gym it was perfectly common for me to be the only one in there, especially during the summer. During the winter it gets more use and you can get into some righteous treadmill fights. Anyway, so today I was the only one in the locker room and the only woman in the gym.

Anyway, so I get down there, and they only have the kind of lockers where you enter in your own combination, which is temporary. They don't have any where you can just use your own lock. Damn. I don't like those kind of lockers and I never use them. But I gamely read the instructions, practice a couple of times and I think I've got it. 
I realize I have forgotten a sports bra. Damn. I quickly decide to just go ahead and run in the lacy bra I am wearing, I mean, how bad could it be and I don't want to mess up my plan just because of this. I lock up all my stuff and go run. The lacy bra quickly chafes the shit out of me and while running I realize I have also forgotten deodorant while simultaneously remembering that in two hours I have a meeting with an executive. So I'm looking at the prospect of meeting with said executive in a sweaty bra and with no deodorant. But I have brought a towel to shower, so I figure it can't be too bad and I finish my run. 

I go back to the locker room after my run, put everything (EVERYTHING) including my phone and headphones, into the locker, grab my towel, lock the locker again (because I can't have my phone being stolen in the two minutes I am rinsing off in the shower, see, even though I AM ALONE HERE) and head to the shower. 

I get out of the shower and that locker won't open. I frantically try a million different ways that I might have gotten the four digit code that I use for every single thing in my life that requires a four digit code wrong and nothing. NOTHING. I search all the lockers for possible clothing people may have left behind. I scour the locker room for some kind of emergency call button. Nothing.

So, to summarize: I am in a locker room with nothing but a towel. Every stitch of clothing I have AND MY PHONE are in the locker which I cannot open and I have a meeting with an executive this afternoon. DAMN. 

I have also left my phone on when I put it in the locker, so it is blaring music and I have also somehow managed to put it on repeat, so it is playing the song I put at the beginning of this post over and over again while I'm trying to figure out what to do and now I'm probably going to have to remove that song from my playlist given how it now reminds me of all this trauma.

There is one more girl in the gym now, I had seen her get going just as I was finishing up, and I can see that one other locker is in use. So I plan to just wait for her and then beg her for help when she comes into the locker room. The management of the building is just around the corner (but through the lobby, I can't just walk over there in my towel) and I'm sure they have a way to deal with this. 

I keep trying different four digit codes in the meantime. But then someone came in to use the bathroom, so I practically leap on her when she's done and ask for help. She tries my combination and I'm like "I was hoping you could just go over to the management office and let them know" and she goes "I am the management" and I'm like "OMG THANK GOD PLEASE HELP I AM MORTIFIED AND SO SORRY!!!!!"

So she put in some default code and I was free to put on my gross sweaty bra and not put on deodorant. I then proceeded to leave my blow dryer there, which I retrieved the next morning. I don't think stuff gets stolen much in there.

The only good news came when I got back to my desk and my meeting with the executive had been rescheduled. 

Anyway, so today I am trying this office gym again and I am not bothering to lock anything up. So for anyone who wants to know, my phone will be available for theft for about five minutes some time today while I shower.

Garden state

We built sand castles
That washed away
- Beyoncé

I went for a lovely run this morning in New Jersey. 3 miles.

Body aches

So the last two days I've been up for a 7 am class. Yesterday was a barre class that was 45 minutes of intense strength training, especially in the booty and abs. This morning it was spin again, and while it was still torturous, I did much better this time. So that's 5 days in a row of exercise. I just landed in New Jersey and not sure what the weekend will look like in terms of exercise but I hope to get in a run or two. This is an awful month for miles but good in terms of fitness. And now my entire body hurts.

A special kind of torture

My former boss talked me into going to a spin class at 7am this morning. I was up at 6, aka 3am your time AZ peeps. It was unprecedented. Especially given vodka drinks last night. The class was torturous. I felt hugely uncoordinated and struggled with adjusting the torque and the up-and-down on the seat and bruised labia and goddammit my legs aren't capable of going that fast especially at 7-fucking-am in the morning! But I'm glad I went although I don't get any miles credit, and that's 3 for 3 exercise days on this trip. I'm kind of awesome. To make matters worse, I signed up for a "barre" class tomorrow at 7 and spin again on Weds. I am a glutton for punishment.

This is life in motion

This is life in motion
Just when I think I can't run this race anymore
The sun bursts, clouds break
- One Republic

3.5 today in hotel gym. I'm pretty cool, right? When I have nothing to do, it's hard to fit anything in. When I have a lot to do, I can fit in almost anything.

Saturday night losers club

This is all I ever was
- Mumford

By some miracle and strength of will, I got to the gym tonight and did an ok 2.5 after the same number of glasses of wine at dinner. I'm in DC for a work conference and took some peeps to dinner during which all willpower crumbled and I indulged in lobster Mac and cheese and fried chicken followed by a s'mores milkshake. So. I figure I took care of a couple bites of Mac and cheese at the gym, sigh. But I'm adamant in my intention to get exercise in this week. Check back here for updates.

Pressure

And u can't stand workin all day
Work is tearin up my soul
I think I will go out tonight
And I will call in sick tomorrow
- The Mowglis

This is an oldie but a goodie. I put my phone on random Mowglis songs but that turned out to be like blowing sunshine and rainbows up my own ass for 3 miles. I really do better with melancholy and contemplative songs when I run. Songs that can echo my bodily pain. So today I had just decided I wasnt going. I exercised more than I probably have in my life in May, and then the Grand Canyon, and I'm just feeling pressure. I spent two days in San Francisco and am going to DC on Saturday followed by New Jersey, so it's going to be real tough to get the miles in. So instead I went to Taco Bell. But then I went outside around 9 to take out the garbage and there was this tiny bit of crispness in the air. So I went and did my neighborhood 3.5 mile route and I feel good about that. I now have 12.5 miles for the month and four yoga classes. It's gonna be an ugly month.

Next thing I recall well I was hanging from a cliff
When an angel came to rescue me and held me in her grip
She said, "Everyone who's ever loved you gets hurt in the end"
Then she smiled and said, "Forgive me"
As she let go of my hand 

Better Than Ezra - Recognize

I love it when I'm running and the meaning of a song I've been listening to forever becomes clear. I did 3 on the indoor track yesterday and it was tough!  And my legs are all hurty today.  I don't get it. So I had 8 miles for the week. Gonna be a tough month since I'm traveling for a whole week and I can't run outside. 

Like a river runs

I woke up thinking you were still here
My hands shaking with regret
I've held this dream for such a long long time
And I wanna get up
To the rhythm of a wild, to the rhythm of a wild heart
That beats, that beats like a rolling drum
- Bleachers

It's funny how the body works. Tonight I went at it with a vengeance and ran 3 miles followed by an hour of power yoga. Last year this would have been a miraculous workout but today is just back to good. I've recovered from the brief lull. I've had very vivid dreams the last few nights about the love that got away, that I let go, that I rejected in favor of a familiar dysfunctionality. But I think the message is that love is possible. And I won't compromise. The heart beats and the body works just like a river runs. Flowing smoothly around obstacles and not getting dammed up, or only temporarily, by the stones we choose to carry.

I'm trying hard but I can't win
And I've played the victim for a long long time
And I wanna grow up
From the rhythm a young, from the rhythm of a younger heart
It leads just like a river runs

Disinterested

My internal monologue is saturated analog
It's scratched and drifting

I must express my disinterest
- Courtney Barnett

I ran one mile at the gym today. I use the term "ran" rather loosely. I was on the dreadmill and it was awful, after an uninspiring and unshowered day. After the dreadful mile I moved to the track to see if that was better. It wasn't. I contemplated a hot tub soak, but then I just went home. I wonder if my body is just recovering from the weekend. Yesterday wasn't much better. I only had time to run a mile before yoga and then I was somewhat brutally reminded why I hate the Tuesday afternoon class. This guy instructed us to jump from plank to handstand. And then back. Repeat. Like ten times. I'm completely out of my league in there. So tomorrow is another day. I have exactly two miles for the month.

You talk far too much for someone so unkind

I will show restraint
Just like we said we should
You think I'll apologize for things I left behind
But you got it wrong
And I'm as sane as I ever was

         -CHVRCHES

I ran three today. I've increased my intervals to 4:1 so it's been challenging, but that's how I want to run the Phoenic half in January, so I'm trying. It's going okay. Definitely doing better already this month than last!

A big weekend that doesn't count

You're wide awake tossing
And you can't even sleep
With all these secrets you keep
The way home is so steep
- Airborne Toxic Event, Time To Be A Man

I've been neglectful of my blogging so I apologize to the fans. I hiked 30 miles in 3 days in the Grand Canyon this last weekend. We hiked 10.5 miles down to Havasupai in Friday, the first two of which was a pretty steep decline and all I could think about was how daunting this would be on the way out. Add to that a record heat wave and I was intimidated. We got to camp Friday afternoon exhausted and dirty, and the only place to lay down was a 110 degree tent. And yes I took a short miserable nap in there. Saturday we did a 7 mile hike to more falls. We got up at 4:30 Sunday and left at 5:20 in an attempt to beat the heat but alas, the last two miles of switchbacks were still in partial sunlight. It was difficult to say the least but I only stopped once on the way out to change my water bottle at about half a mile from the top. And I felt pretty good yesterday but I took the day off. So now we're on June 7 and I have no running miles this month. So I will get after it today. I did end up with 60.5 miles and 9 yogas in May so a good month and I'm on pace. 

I been dancin' in a devil's dirt

I'm a whole lot of trouble in a itty bitty skirt
Well, the best kind of loving is one that hurts
You can get your kicks, but I'll get mine first

     - Elle King

An excellent tune to make you smile while running. I did 3.5 today. 

The official number for May was a whopping 37 miles. Not sure how I'll make up for that.