539

And since your history of silence
Won't do you any good
Did you think it would?

                  - Sara Bareilles

I like that song too.

My total for 2013 ended up being 539, and I'm all set to try 600 this year! I told blista sista that I would re-design the blog, but I'm waiting for inspiration which hasn't come yet.

I did come up with some "rules of the road" on my running this year, and thought about publishing them here, but then thought that would be too much pressure and besides, who really gives a single crap? Nobody. Well, except maybe me.

563

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out, honestly
I wanna see you be brave
- Sara Barailles, Brave

After a 3.5 mile neighborhood jaunt today, 563 is the magic number for 2013. One word describes my run (ok jog) today: lungburn. I'm not even sure if that's a word but I was wheezing. I seem to have gotten a chest cold, but I had to get one last run in for the year. I actually did 71 miles in December with 18 days of running - my best month of the year. My worst month was June with 17.5 miles and 6 days. Too many vacations obviously. In July I ran the most days - 22 days and 57 miles. Most months I was at or near 50 miles, broken foot aside, so 600 next year is totally doable. I think. Anyhoo, time to settle in with my boy, a good book and a pan of brownies to welcome 2014. Adios 2013. You've been beautiful and blessed and at times cruel. Such is life.

Beautiful day

Don't let it slip away
It's a beautiful day
- U2

It has been a beautiful week actually, with several mountain runs. On Thursday I ran the Bell Pass trail to the top, which is 3200 feet up. It wasn't as hard this time as it has been in the past, and no flies or other companions to keep me company, so it was a nice solitary 7 mile run and the last half mile is pretty much straight up. My quads ached on Fri so I just did a lazy 3 down to the gym and back. I had my iPod on random and stumbled across the Legend of Bobby Dunbar, which is just such a compelling and sad mystery that it draws you in and it's wonderful to run to. I need to find more like that. I took Sat off for refinishing my bathroom cabinets, which simply isn't as easy as it looks. I can't decide if it looks rustic and antique, or sloppy and amateur. I'm going with fashionable. And I've also decided to outsource the refinishing of the kitchen cabinets to professionals. Today I once again hit the mountain around noon for lack of anything else to do and I have to say its time for tourists to go home. They are crowding my gym and dressed inappropriately and lugging babies and toy dogs and they don't have the common courtesy to move to the right so runners can pass. Two days left in the month to pump up my annual total. Blista sista and I have come to an agreement that 600 miles will be the stretch goal for 2014. Consistency will most certainly be key, which is a much bigger deal for me since I tend to take guiltless vacations from running whilst she does not. She says she is afraid she won't start again if she takes a break, which I find interesting, especially given that she is the most tenacious among us with her training regimen.
But back to my beautiful day - my babies invited me out for a movie and dinner. I'm always so happy when we all spend fun time together, and those days grow further and further apart. After dinner we all lay on my bed talking. It was beautiful. I don't know where it comes from or when it comes, but I always do feel so blessed when it does.

Here's a hymn to welcome in the day

You're standing on the landing with the war
You shouldered all the night before
- The Decemberists, June Hymn

I had such an awful night of sleep last night. All the holiday anxiety caught up with me while I was sleeping. I went to the mountain for church as planned, and soaked in the beauty of the Sonoran Desert, which always leaves me feeling whole, no matter how broken I feel when I start. I took the Bell Pass trail for a change of scenery, and I went about 3.5 miles. I spent my run listening to the Decemberists and focusing on the things in life that I am grateful for:

The beauty of the desert in my back yard
My beautiful girl who has grown before my eyes into a confident self-reliant young woman full of sparkling personality
My strong and sensitive boy for whom I ache with love as he struggles to find his place in the world
My blista sista who introduced me to the Decemberists and is always there to lend a supportive ear, and more importantly to make me laugh
The music of The Decemberists
The strength of my body and mind
My emotional heart
The opportunity to love truly
My job, which challenges me and pays me well and affords me the opportunity to spend so much time with my babies while they are still at home
A Christmas Eve hair appointment to make me feel beautiful
My dream of a home in Pinetop coming true before my eyes
Little Farley who brings so much comfort and laughter into my life
Fat dog who keeps me warm at night
My Sistahood who despite our dysfunctionality, or perhaps because of it, sees me through life's ups and downs.
My BFFs who are with me through thick and thin and who always make make me giggle
My Casa kids who teach me every day to be grateful for what I have

Wishing my fellow runners a blessed holiday season.

"In a way, it is as if your refusal to forgive is too much a part of you for you to lose it. Who would you be without it? Not yourself. Lost, somehow. Think of how people tend to pick the same chair to sit in over and over again. We are always trying to make sure we know where we are."
- Elizabeth Berg, What We Keep

Got my 3.5 in today, sans fat dog. Took her on a bike ride after. Aside from that, today has been a day for relaxing and reading. I started this book today and I really like it.

Panclarks

"Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?"
"I think the real question is, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer?"

Yes, I am drinking wine and watching reruns of Scrubs to celebrate the end of a successful Sunday. That is to say, I slept in, finished my Christmas shopping, went grocery shopping for the mystical ingredients to my world-fame-inducing Mac and cheese, ran the mountain and wrapped all my presents. The mountain was crowded with out-of-towners and at one point I ran past a group drinking beer and eating chips on the side of the trail. When they offered me a beer I have to admit I considered it. But I ran on, people! Those who are lucky enough to try my Mac and cheese on Christmas will immediately gain 5 pounds before they die from pure pleasure. And, I've outsourced niece and nephew shopping to my teenagers. It will be a good lesson in what to buy and staying in budget and being uninspired and still spending money knowing somebody probably won't like something. And no gift cards allowed. I look forward to the kvetching tomorrow night. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Lift me

My life in an upturned boat
Marooned on a cliff
You brought me a great big flood
And you gave me a lift
- The Shins, Simple Song

Lord knows I needed a lift on my run this morning! I did 3.5 in the hood but I walked the last mile. I am convinced that I just can't run as well with fat dog because I can't get into a rhythm the first mile. But the other option is to leave her sad fat ass at home looking at me mournfully from the window. Can't win. Anyhoo now I get to go do the fun kind of shopping, where I buy adorable things for little girls who have very few adorable things. "We wish you a happy holiday", to quote Ks blasphemous piano teacher. Wishing you one all the same. And if anyone out there has an awesome recipe for macaroni and cheese, send it my way.

Gasp

I sit and watch your flowers wilting in the kitchen
I felt like I was one of them gasping for air
- BTE, Get You In

I had a tough three miles today. It might be partly because of the way I've been eating. I went to lunch with some peeps earlier this week and they all made a deliberate point of ordering off the "less than 500 calories" menu, and then got a good laugh when I went for the Mac and Cheese. But goddam it was worth it. I tried to make it up on the mountain yesterday and I had a damn good run. I probably ran more on the way up than I have before, cause there was this lady in pink who kept threatening to overtake me. Alas, I was tired today on my three with fatty mcfatterson. Watching her take her usual 3 poop breaks, I was reminded that I left a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table last night. Huh. Not even digested a little. Anyway, back to the books. I have a test tomorrow, after which I will likely require more Mac and Cheese. And some wine. Let's hope I get a run in first.

Bad moon

I see a bad moon rising.
- Creedence

I was amazed by the gorgeous ginormous moon that was just rising over my hood as I went for my run this evening. Bad moon indeed. I did a very strong 3.5 miles and felt great. I even ran up nemesis hill, which is the much smaller more gentle sister to the Denver version. I didn't take fat dog - I refused after her shitty behavior on our run yesterday. Meaning she stopped to shit about a hundred times. Instead, I took her on a bike ride after my run and ran her little legs off. But not her fat. Two weeks left in 500 mile 2013! Can't say I will be sad to leave this year in my rear view.

Guilty as fuckin charged

Look I've got some bad intentions
Guilty as fuckin charged
Still standin stable
More than able
Cause I know who you are
- Blue October, Worry List

I hit 500 on the nose last Tuesday, unscripted and unplanned, and uncelebrated. Just more numbers on a calendar, though I did put a star around Dec 3 once I realized my feat. Hard to believe I just randomly landed on 500 even. So I guess I'm off for the rest of the year. Ok not. I had a tired mountain run this morning but it was a beautiful day in the sunny desert.